Wisdom of the Ages
The Vibrant Elder Journey
What is the difference between being elderly and being an elder?
An Essay by Kenneth Plattner, D.Min
I lived outside Denver in a mountain enclave of 90 patio homes, most of which were inhabited by people 65 or older. As a member of the architectural and landscaping committee, I regularly had the opportunity to meet and greet my neighbors.
There are some questions that baffled me. I've often wondered why some put out a pumpkin for Halloween and some don't. Some string lights and decorate for Christmas — maybe they can't do it for themselves, but they find a way to have it done. Some go for walks, and some talk to their neighbors. Some are planning trips; some have dinner parties; some have little gardens; some send emails and have answering machines; and some still go into the city for concerts, the symphony, the theater, or dinner.
And some don't do any of these things.
There are some questions that baffled me. I've often wondered why some put out a pumpkin for Halloween and some don't. Some string lights and decorate for Christmas — maybe they can't do it for themselves, but they find a way to have it done. Some go for walks, and some talk to their neighbors. Some are planning trips; some have dinner parties; some have little gardens; some send emails and have answering machines; and some still go into the city for concerts, the symphony, the theater, or dinner.
And some don't do any of these things.
Why is it that certain people age with vitality and vigor, while others shrivel, lose their juice, close themselves off, complain of aches and pains, and wither away while waiting to die a potentially sad and lonely death? |
The Spiritual Eldering Institute in Boulder, Colorado, suggests that persons who boldly face their mortality—who choose wisdom, grace, and laughter as their spiritual partners—add as much as 7.5 years to their lives. These are the elders,and they clearly walk a different path than those we know as elderly.
New learning, being happy, laughing heartily, stepping into wisdom, choosing a grateful heart, and facing death with an open spirit—these activities not only add years to our life span, but they create an attitude of joy amid sadness, aging, and loss. This is the courageous activity of one who has chosen to accept the challenge of becoming an elder.
Not to accept this challenge can quickly plunge a senior citizen into the depths of shadow depression,denial, and fear. Most seniors don't even know that they have a conscious choice about the matter.
I have found a simple way to discern who is on the juicy journey to become an elder and who is, unknowingly, becoming elderly. Both the elder and the elderly have lived a long time and had many experiences to show for their years.
New learning, being happy, laughing heartily, stepping into wisdom, choosing a grateful heart, and facing death with an open spirit—these activities not only add years to our life span, but they create an attitude of joy amid sadness, aging, and loss. This is the courageous activity of one who has chosen to accept the challenge of becoming an elder.
Not to accept this challenge can quickly plunge a senior citizen into the depths of shadow depression,denial, and fear. Most seniors don't even know that they have a conscious choice about the matter.
I have found a simple way to discern who is on the juicy journey to become an elder and who is, unknowingly, becoming elderly. Both the elder and the elderly have lived a long time and had many experiences to show for their years.
In the Eastern worldview, there is a Zen notion that life is a joke; the difference is that the elder laughs knowing that s/he is the joke. The fear or worry of elderly folks generally keeps them from appreciating this joke because they often take themselves so very seriously.
Most of those we know as elderly have adopted someone else's fixed idea of what their particular life should look like or be like. On the other hand, most elders have broken away from conventional thinking; they are generally free and willing to risk. These are people who are still growing and changing and learning and trusting.
Most of those we know as elderly have adopted someone else's fixed idea of what their particular life should look like or be like. On the other hand, most elders have broken away from conventional thinking; they are generally free and willing to risk. These are people who are still growing and changing and learning and trusting.
The Developmental Process of Becoming an Elder
As a society, we've lost many of the ceremonies and passage around becoming an elder. There are still some societies that honor their elders. They respect the wisdom of those who have lived and experienced their life into maturity. Research from Hawaiian, Spanish, Native American, and more primitive societies shows us that the path into elderhood is 'a declared journey'. It is a movement that does not take place all at once, but rather in small and sometimes imperceptible steps.
Becoming an elder is a journey from the world of doing into the world of being.
As an elder, there is nothing more to prove — ego is unnecessary — so the beginning elder learns to let go of any "doing" that demonstrates prowess or competence, and s/he replaces it with an awareness and ability to just BE.
This is the sweet spot of genuine freedom and radical bliss, that creates a new lifestyle and a new consciousness.
This is the sweet spot of genuine freedom and radical bliss, that creates a new lifestyle and a new consciousness.
Definition of an Elder
The Elderhood Institute
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The elder, unlike the elderly, knows he or she owes advocacy and wisdom to others. The elderly complain about aging while elders continue to deepen their experience of living until they die.
The elderly remain angry about experiences that hurt them throughout their life. They have not yet forgiven. The elderly don’t celebrate long life in the way the elder does. The person expressing eldership begins each day with a sacred intention to show thanks for each new day and seeks to affirm life in others even in small ways. Because of this devotion to the celebration of life, elders elicit extraordinary deference from their community. The archetypal elder has been the same force in most cultures over most all of time. An “archetype’ is a model for a role that has survived time. Within each person is an energy and a spirit that once accessed allows a person to express eldership in the way elders have from the beginning. Just as “instincts” seem to account for recurrent behavior patterns in man, so the archetypes seem to account for recurrent psychic patterns. Psychic patterns are expressions of one’s psyche: all of an individual, which is not physical. When we seek to nourish the soul through an expression of elder energy an elder role emerges. |
Elders’ roles include:
Mentors:
Wisdom Keepers:
Earth Keepers:
Celebrants:
Mentors:
Wisdom Keepers:
- Are persons who put elderhood into action by sharing their impressions and beliefs and tell their story
- Their work is to synthesize wisdom from long life experience
- They share their long life experience by being accessible
Earth Keepers:
- Are persons who are partners with Earth and who sense they are one with nature
- They are stewards, partners of both man and Earth
Celebrants:
- Are persons who are a source of blessing, a natural resource that can empower others
- They initiate others and affirm them through unconditional positive regard
